My Life is Over – And other fears that never happened
When I first came to AA, I looked around the room and thought my life was over.
More importantly, I had vital questions, which needed to be answered right away, like these.
- How will I enjoy another Super Bowl without beer?
- How will I make it to a rock concert without weed?
- And, how can I make it through another Easter without dropping acid?
I had some weird ideas and demands on life. Having strange ideas is not uncommon because as it says in the Doctor’s Opinion in the Big Book, “to them, the alcoholic life seems the only normal one.” As a newcomer, I was completely oblivious to any “normalcy.”
I thought everyone drank during the super bowl. Everyone lived like this and was overcome with fear.
Once I worked the steps and cleaned up my past, I was shocked to learn I can do nearly anything I put my mind to in life. More importantly, I can do it without alcohol or mind-altering chemical. How did I know this? Because I saw other members doing truly incredible things. Getting degrees, jobs, fixing marriages, having children, and enduring hardships with elan.
I learned from them what matters is the effort (in AA – “the footwork”) and attitude (in AA – “spiritual condition”), two things I can control through the steps of the program.
The only real thing that stands in the way of achieving my dreams in AA is doing nothing. Fear can make me do just that. And when I write down these concerns they turn out to be stupid and ungrounded. In other words, not real.
Maybe a good time to quote Mark Twain, who said, “I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened!”
Walk through the fear, it’s not there.
