The other day I heard something truly profound. A man shared how when his wife lost her job when he first got sober, every day when he came home he would ask her some form of “did you get a job yet?” He thought little of it. He thought what he was doing was…
A viral passage of the 12 and 12 talks about the value of staying quiet. “Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must avoid quick-tempered criticism and furious, power-driven argument. The same goes for sulking or silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. Our first job is…
Another great AA concept that offers broader application is “think through the drink!” The idea is that instead of thinking how good a drink might be, think instead of what happens after that drink. For the AA, rarely is there ever one drink. Usually, that first drink leads to much more and then the AA…
AA meetings without leadership often turn into local versions of Oprah/Dr. Phil and sound more like therapy than recovery. A therapy session is not a good thing, as the value of AA is that it offers a solution. Newcomers need a solution, not a forum for discussing feelings. Please make no mistake that while discussing…
So often when I feel some internal unrest, I think the answer is to go buy something. Dumb right? This is because this happens without my either acknowledging the unrest that triggers the urge nor the reactive purchase that seeks to quiet it. Saturday arrives and we pack up the family to go to Costco…
The Chinese have a saying, “Talk doesn’t cook rice!” Sounds obvious, doesn’t it? Then again aren’t most truths simple and obvious ones? A constant AA theme is a call for individual action. Situations don’t change by themselves – they require active and conscious engagement by the protagonist. Unlike many self-help gurus who say otherwise,…
“The first and foremost challenge is to be more aware, of myself and others, to make more of my unconscious conscious, to see more of the truth.” from What Really Matters by Tony Schwartz AA’s have a hard time facing the truth. They are habitually good at it. So much so that the word “denial”…
Asking for help, when done with the right attitude and genuine need is one of the most spiritual things a human being can do. It presents an opportunity for people to connect with one another. Giving is largely an act of generosity and compassion – both spiritual attributes. Asking involves the spiritual quality of humility….
My friend Joe L. has said, “you can sum up the program with one concept, remaining teachable.” How right he is! When I am full of ego and pride, I am unwilling to take good orderly direction. I become stubborn and insistent on doing it my way! I am also quite the joy to be…
“Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not!” So said Samuel Johnson. But how often do we become so self-centered that we forget to be kind to those we are already fond of? For me, this happens more than I would like to admit. I can be short and abrupt with the people…