Get Started in Recovery
How Did I Get Here?
Nobody plans for the moment they’ll need to face alcoholism head-on—whether in themselves or someone they love. Yet here you are, and that takes courage.
People come to recovery for countless reasons. Some are in trouble at work. Others face relationship crises. Many have legal issues from driving under the influence. In my own case, I didn’t even realize I’d first encountered recovery in college until years into sobriety. Turns out, that’s not uncommon.
The Truth Nobody Talks About
Here’s what most newcomers won’t admit: they don’t actually want to stop drinking.
They’re putting on a show—”Let’s do this! Let’s quit!”—while secretly planning to cut back just enough to get everyone off their backs. Then it’s back to the good times.
And why wouldn’t they feel this way? Most people had genuinely good experiences with alcohol before things went sideways. Nobody takes one drink and immediately becomes alcoholic. So the idea of never drinking again sounds absolutely terrible.
The Diagnosis Dilemma
Making this harder: there’s no blood test for alcoholism. No genetic marker that proves you’re alcoholic. The most accurate diagnosis often comes from the person with the problem—which is complicated when denial is part of the disease.
There’s an old AA saying: “If you think you have a drinking problem, you probably do—because normal drinkers don’t wonder if they have a drinking problem.” Not the most scientific logic, but with something as “cunning, baffling, and powerful” as alcoholism, it’s surprisingly accurate.
Why This Site Exists
I’m Jim, 38 years sober through AA. I created Pause When Agitated after a close friend asked for help with his sister’s severe alcoholism. Despite my decades in recovery, seeing it through his eyes—as an outsider looking in—opened my own.
AA saved my life, and millions of others over 90 years. But to newcomers and outsiders? It can be confusing as hell. As one AA friend puts it: “It’s the Greatest Show on Earth.” And that’s not as hyperbolic as it sounds.
What You’ll Find Here
My goal is simple: give you the context you need to navigate AA successfully.
Because here’s what happens without it: You’ll go to a couple meetings, feel overwhelmed by the jargon and the people and the whole scene, and decide “nope, not for me.”
That would be a mistake.
AA isn’t perfect. It’s not for everyone. It can be frustrating and confusing. But it’s still the most successful program for helping problem drinkers become productive, happy members of society.
My Advice to You
Calm down. Face facts. Deal with reality.
If you drink alcoholically, that story doesn’t end well. But if you get sober? There’s no telling how far you’ll go.
Start with this:
- Go to meetings (90 meetings in 90 days is solid advice)
- Get the context you need from our guides
- Keep an open mind about the weird parts
- Focus on the people who have what you want
You’ve already taken the hardest step by looking for help. That door you’re standing at? It opens to a completely different life—for you and everyone you care about.
Questions? Contact me directly. Ready to start? Check out our Newcomer’s Guide.
Remember: You can get sober. And yes, it does get better.
